Age: 52
Location: Los Angeles, California

To end the controversy before it begins, I'm the one on the left. Sharing the photo is Erika, or SeaPncss, my lovely wife. The picture was taken in 1994 (I don't know when you're reading this, so you can do the math yourself) about a month before our wedding, and it freezes in time a moment when I was actually talked into putting on a suit. Yech!

To give you a little more information about myself, I have assembled a FAQ. To the uninformed, this stands for Frequently Asked Questions. Come to think of it, it also stands for Frequently Asked Questions to the informed as well.

Q: How did you come up with the name Egoman?

A: The word is derived from the latin phrase, et pi delta ergoma, which means (roughly translated) "If you don't stop typing, you'll go blind."

Conveniently enough, having a name with "man" in it has deterred other men from accidently hitting on me. Obviously it's because they think it's short for "mantra," and fear me repeating the same phrase over and over and over and over again.

Q: Who shares your home with you?

A: 5 cats and a wife. (Insert your own dirty joke here.) Also one very terrified bird.

Q: What do you do for a living?

A: Okay, serious answer for this one. I work in electronic media, which entails a number of different things. Primarily, I book and conduct celebrity interviews for radio and television, with both pop and urban music artists and movie stars. I used to write our two syndicated radio shows, but now I have someone else do it. I cover most of the music awards shows from the backstage press area. I get to travel a lot, and I see a lot of movies, averaging between two and six a week. For television, I do some producing, a little editing, a little directing, all magazine-format stuff. But my job is primarily the radio stuff.

Q: If your job keeps you that busy, and you have a gorgeous wife, why on earth do you spend so much time on IRC?

A: I've decided that in order to cram everything into one day, I'll just give up the things that I don't absolutely need. So I no longer eat or sleep.

Q: How did you get to be so cool?

A: A good question for someone named Egoman, but I'll answer it with another question. When did you get to be so schizophrenic?

Q: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

A: Yes.

Q: When are you and Erika going to start having kids?

A: Mom, get away from my computer! Geez, I turn my back for a minute to go get a sandwich...

Q: Is it true you used to be an extra?

A: Yes, I did background work in movies and television while I was in college. If you're in Los Angeles, it's the easiest job in the world to get, because you don't need a single brain cell to walk from point A to point B, which is exactly what the job entails. You can spend 14 hours on a set, and work maybe 3. And it pays minimum wage. Not nearly as glamorous as people think it is, but if you're interested in playing "Spot the Egoman," check out reruns of the first season of "Beverly Hills, 90210." I'm in almost every episode. (Many times with SeaPncss.) I never say anything, but watch how well I get to point B!

Q: How many is duck?

A: I'm sorry, I don't understand the question.

Q: Will you please stop that annoying boinging?

A: No.

I hope this gives you a clearer picture of the man behind the typos. See you in cyberspace!

--Egoman 11-13-96

Last modified: Sun Jul 4 01:38:25 2010
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